‘Should I pay for boyfriend’s clothing left in hotel room?’

Money Manners is Honey Money’s weekly column that deals with money etiquette matters that can be the cause of many an awkward encounter.
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This week’s question comes via Reddit’s ‘Am I The A–hole’ thread and it is has exposed an epic relationship dilemma for this couple.
My boyfriend and I were staying in a hotel. He had to leave to pick up our rental car and I stayed to pack up.
He had already packed all his stuff (note: we did share one bag) but he asked me to double check that he got everything.
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He kept a few items in the closet but since I hadn’t used it, I missed looking there during my check.
After we departed, he realised he didn’t have the four clothing items that were in the closet. That was a huge bummer and I felt really bad given they were some of his favourite items. I apologised for missing the closet.
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He got pretty upset at me although it was an honest mistake on my end. He didn’t end up getting the clothes back, but the hotel gave him a couple free nights on a different trip plus free breakfast so that likely covered the cost of the clothes.
He later brings up that he expected me to pay for some of his clothes he lost since it was my fault they were left behind.
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I don’t mind supporting him in that, but don’t feel like he should’ve gotten so angry at me given he left so many in the closet and it was a mistake for me not looking there since I hadn’t used it.
Am I the a–hole for feeling like I shouldn’t be the main one to be blamed in this scenario and not feeling compelled to cover the cost of all the clothes? Thank you!
Edit: He called right away the same day and we even went back to the hotel a couple days later when we were heading through and they said no clothes were found even after asking the housekeeping staff and they knocked on the room with new people staying in it.
That was a major disappointment given they were obviously there and then gone…
If this guy is the one for you, it’s definitely worth taking the hit for the clothing as far as I am concerned. You said he expected you to pay for “some” of them not all of them.
Ask to pay for the more affordable ones and start to pivot all this unpleasantness into a future amusing anecdote.
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And don’t ever take on this responsibility again. His clothes, his responsibility. Although I can see that this is likely a unique situation and most probably won’t happen again.
Redditers are right to question the thoroughness of your check for items left behind, but I’ll bet you’ve learned from this too.
One Redditer did have a good suggestion. For brief hotel stays they don’t bother using the closet and just go back and forth from their bags. I like this. It definitely works and prevents forgetting anything.
I hope you are able to move on from this. I think you paying for them is just a gesture. I do hope he ends up saying not to worry about it and maybe then you can surprising him with a gift of a couple of items.
It is so disappointing that the hotel claims the clothes were not there and perhaps you can make a more formal complaint and ask for reimbursement? It’s worth a shot.
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